What is resilience? It is the ability to adapt to adversity and to bounce back
A person who demonstrates resilience:
- Is rather optimistic
- Relativizes and uses the resources at their disposal
- Have a connecting circle of positive influence
- Is pro-active and she takes care of herself.
So how do you learn to put these tips into practice?
- First, identify your strengths and skills. We often underestimate ourselves and it is the most common one in our eyes that is actually our top strength.
- The other idea is to create positive emotions, to open up our world and vision, if I see my situation from someone I admire or my heroine, how will he/she cope? I’m not saying that negative emotions are to be ignored or pushed away. It is more about acknowledging them, they are also here to protect us but for now, decide to feel something positive instead.
- Visualisation exercises are also a very effective way to project ourselves in a future filled with joy. You can start by listing every day positive events, actions of your day, and remember you can list next to that the strengths and skills you used in that particular situation.
Now visualising yourself overcoming more and more each day your negative thoughts and succeeding in passing milestone (week, month..) give the courage to do it for real, repeating this visualisation is vital!
- To feel hope: this is not trivial! We feel hope by what we talked about above and also by creating goals (small steps at the start! Like calling a friend, going for a walk …)
Understanding that there isn’t only one possible path! You may be now on a very narrow path internally trying to cope with a traumatic experience or a big challenge.
Remember you have been on the more joyful path in the past and there will be joyful paths ahead of you too.
As I said, it's important to open up your world and create positive thoughts even a few minutes each day!
Think of small steps, we are in no hurry, it takes a long time to recover from a break-up or a divorce.
List your successes of the day and congratulate yourself!
Remember a door closes and another opens in front of you. The job of the coach is to help you realise that you are able to bounce back, that you have the strengths and the solutions within you. The job of the coach is to help you become resilient to any event, not just the one you are going through at the moment.