How to support your children through divorce
Believe your children are resilient. Trust your children and communicate with them about the situation with your partner. Do it together if possible.
Don’t hide it from the kids: They probably know or feel something is not right. It is best to let them know that mum and dad are having some issues without oversharing than leaving them out of the decision. It will avoid them imagining the worse and become anxious.
Reassure them that they will always have a mum and dad. Children need to feel that their routine won’t change too much especially in the first weeks or months. So try to make minimal change around their school activities.. at least to give them time to digest the news.
Try not to badmouth your ex partner in front of them. Children need to be able to show they are happy to go to each parent without feeling guilty. Be happy for them and excited . Pretend if need be!
Keep the communication open: You can start conversation with your children, and ask them questions. I find if you go in their room in their own environment they may feel more inclined to share their feelings if something is troubling them. The main important is to be focus on them. No multitasking. They need to feel heard.
The dynamic will change as you are now a solo parent. You can think of new ways to communicate. Start a new routine, bring a joy in the house. Think of an activity they will look forward to in the week; It could be mid-week dinner in the lounge or play a video game or anything that could bring joy while creating a new routine even if you bend the rules slightly!
Be compassionate and kind towards yourself. Divorce is stressful Think of me time when you don’t have the kids or maybe a neighbour/a friend can look after them a couple of hours.
It is important to recharge mentally and physically to cope with this very demanding time.